A Pragmatic Primer to Pronoun Politesse

He, She, They, Zhe? For some, the subject of pronouns is a confusing one. In this post, I demystify pronoun etiquette.

When I am in a new group and need to introduce myself. I do so by saying, "Hi, I am Lauren, she/they." This introduction clues in other participants that it's cool to refer to me as "she" or "they" when speaking of me in the third person. It then invites other participants to do the same.

Why is this "she/they" addition necessary?

It's not.

It is helpful, however, if you want to create an inclusive environment that doesn't single out anyone who is not using their cis-gender (birth sex) pronouns.

In short, we shouldn't assume anything about people's gender identities. By using pronouns upfront in introductions we create an even playing field for all and remove an undue burden on individuals to "explain" their pronoun usage in a way that could be quite awkward.

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Pro-Tip: Help others out by introducing yourself with pronouns that you use to describe yourself. This encourages others to do the same and let's you move onto more important topics. Boom. Done.

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Want to go deeper into how to employ gender savvy language? Language Matters has got you covered here.